It has come to my attention, over the course of the past weeks, that I needed to continue the transparency that is expected. As a person who aspires to be a journalist, the truth of matters being public is more important to me than anything.
My statement is as follows:
Over the course of the past few weeks, I have been recovering from an attempted suicide. This suicide attempt was not my proudest moment, and I’d definitely list it among the scariest points in my life. Part of this was due to a lengthy bit of relationship abuse that I hoped to discuss with my counselor as I continued to seek solace on my journey to mental health!
That relationship abuse, while at it’s peak, caused me to draft and send two false incident reports to my institution. In part, shifting the story of these incident reports meant accusing myself of a minor parking/driving violation, and a major assault charge. However, since the institution itself has no clear help or assistance for relationship abuse, and my pleas went unnoticed, I took matters into my own hands.
In an incident occurring live on one of my radio shows, a series of jokes went a bit too far. In the course of everyone joking, a student (both my abuser and a close confidant) was inadvertently injured by me. I, and those present were unaware of any accident or injury that occurred at the time, as it was not communicated by the person in any way to the room. I, in joking, continued to poke and prod at the individuals in that room long after the accident. The lack of clarity as to whether or not we were continuing to joke and play coupled with the lack of communication helped me to think that everyone was still happy or content. In no uncertain terms, I walked with my friend into a corner, where she maced me in the eyes. Afterward, I was hit with a chair, a set of keys, a portrait on the wall, and dazed. I suffered some scarring on my face and an allergic reaction the pepper spray.
Now, no matter what anyone says, none of my pain is important to this story. What is important is that my friend was injured, and I was unwilling to talk. I cried for a while in my room and then reported the entire event to the institution. I lied and said that I maced myself, and I lied to protect those involved from any sort of harm.
My friend, who I care for deeply, is the ultimate victim in all of this. They didn’t deserve any of the harm that came to them, nor did they deserve any sort of mistreatment by anyone in this process. I encouraged them, and everyone involved in that incident to report anything they needed to the police.
Since the drafting of this post, I have resigned from my student leadership position and moved towards my passion for philosophy and journalism. All of the people involved assisted me in the creation of an appeal letter to the institution’s conduct decisions, and the process has since finished! I continue to participate in my college community and to support student leadership from a place of rest and comfort. I’m beyond excited to have my spring semester to be refreshed and restored!
If you or a loved one has been a victim of abuse, rape, assault, violence, etc… please tell me, someone you’re confident in, or law enforcement about the situation. Likewise, seek counseling or some form of help to deal with the mental or emotional scarring that often plagues victims of these crimes.